DM Tales

It’s Tuesday. Allergies are less severe than they have been over the last couple of weeks and I am caffeinated. Though I am exhausted after Ecclesicon and that’s brought about a complete change in my perspective. These are Random TTRPG thoughts on why, under no circumstances, should you play independent and lesser-known tabletop role-playing games.

1. Independent and Lesser-known games are too fast. How does EZD6 get off being so easy to run compared to the big games? Who does Kelsey Dionne think she is distilling down 5th Edition and combining it with old school design that makes sessions flow for Shadowdark? And don’t even get me started on roll-under games like Dragonbane and Tales of Argosa. How can we know a game is good if it moves so fast it gets out of the way?
2. Independent and Lesser-Known games are too creative. I’ll give you just one example, Plaguebound. This game doesn’t use a d20 for its resolution mechanic. But that’s not all, Plaguebound is a dark fantasy rpg which doesn’t event have elves. Is Dave Ward of Grimwood Games kidding me? You can’t play an elf, but you can play a giant anthropomorphic bear with antlers? Really? That’s nonsense! Under no circumstances should you go and back Plaguebound on backerkit before the funding campaign ends on April 2. You’ll only encourage Dave to make more games, and I can’t take any more creative endeavors that don’t use my existing assumptions.
3. Independent and lesser-known games aren’t beholden to shareholders. It’s hard to believe, but it’s true! These games aren’t accountable to a faceless group of people demanding they squeeze every last drop of profit out of a product until there is nothing left but a desiccated corpse. Who is holding these creators accountable? And the worst of this lot is Basic Fantasy RPG, which defies the offerings Mammon demands and gives their PDFs away for free and their books at cost. How dare they defy Mammon like that. Do not, under any circumstances, go to basicfantasy.org and check it out. You’ll be infected with a disease known as “open source” and may even want to contribute to a community project. It’s disgusting!
4. Independent and lesser known games give too many people opportunities they haven’t earned through needless suffering and rejection. These smaller publishers give work to writers, artists, and game designers and let the world see what they can do. Why should I want that? Then I may check to see who they are and see what other products their art in is and maybe even buy those, too.  There should only be a set limit of people who are allowed to be involved in the tabletop role-playing industry, and the most qualified folks to do that are the big corporations. They’re the most successful, so they are obviously the best group to oversee this.
5. Independent and lesser-known games make me think. I don’t want to think. I want to sit down at a table and forget about everything in reality, unless it’s something I don’t find objectionable. But, no, that’s not good enough for games like The Electric State, which confronts some societal-level questions in compelling ways. Keep your deep questions to yourselves, Free League, and just let me shoot something! Stop being so elitist and thinking that folks have the capacity to deal with deep concepts! It’s annoying.
6. Independent and lesser-known game creators are too accessible. We shouldn’t be able to know the folks who make our hobby go. Those folks should be distant from the hoi polloi, separated from the rest of us like the mundane people we are. But do the creators of these games respect their status as tabletop role-playing game royalty? Not at all! Instead they chat with people at conventions, come on podunk youtube channels to talk about their games, respond to requests for help with kindness, and seem genuinely glad to see people. It’s just so wrong that people like Kelsey Dionne, Matt Finch, DM Scotty, Chris Gonnerman, Heather Ashcroft, Bob Worldbuilder, and Stephen Chenault aren’t standoffish and aloof. There are rules, people. But my biggest bone to pick is with Kelsey Dionne. Kelsey, you’re a celebrity, squash us like the bugs we are! Why on earth would I want to back a kickstarter campaign from someone who has encouraged me, is a great interview guest, and donated a signed book for a charity action being run at a tiny convention? I don’t even know how I can respect you! Really, no one should go to your Western Reaches campaign page and back your work. You’re just too kind to deserve that sort of support!
7. Independent and lesser-known games give me too many opportunities to make friends. I’m an introvert, and I have all the friends I need, thank you very much. And I should just stick with the big corporate games because then I’ll get bored with them if I try to play too many sessions. This will, in turn, reduce the number of people I have the potential to befriend. But these other games—with their different kinds of game play, wild settings, and enjoyable classes—make me want to play even more. This, in turn, leads me to meet more people. I will never forgive these games for expanding my friendship circles!
8. Independent and lesser-known are too pretty. These games tend to have cool art, compelling lore, a fun layout choices. They are also, sometimes, printed on non-glossy paper. Even more of them have book ribbons! How dare these creators offer me things I like. It takes away my ability to despise their products, and I may never forgive them.
9. Independent and lesser-known games expand the hobby. Why on earth would I want anything to do with a game that’s targeted to an audience of which I’m not part? This is my hobby, and everyone in it should cater to me—my faith, my cultural background, my race, my desires, my gender, my sexual-orientation, and my expectations. Yes, no one can make me buy anything in which I’m not interested, but I cannot stand that these games make people who aren’t like me think they have a place in the community. Enough already!
10. Independent and lesser-known games are amazing and please me. Look, great, these games give me much joy and hours of fun. But did any of these creators think I just wanted to be miserable all the time? Who do they think they are making my life a bit more lovely through their creativity!